social anxiety

Social Anxiety Phobia

Dreading meetings parties social gatherings

SOCIAL ANXIETY IN RELATIONSHIPS AND BUSINESS 

Social phobia is the constant fear that other people will look at you and judge you: you will be criticised for how you speak, dress, or act; or they will find something else wrong about you. The underlying problem is that at some time in the past you actually did come to the attention of someone, or some group, and were criticised for something you did. That criticism was experienced as a real pain, and it made you feel hurt, rejected, isolated, ashamed. And you never, never want to feel that way again.

Social phobia is a fear of having to experience that original pain again, and your mind will do anything to avoid it. Anything. No matter what form your phobia takes, it is the result of your unconscious mind trying to protect you from ever having to be in a situation again where you might be criticised and might have to go through that feeling again.

Over time the initial fear experience gets magnified and magnified again. It grows in importance until the dread of it becomes the governing factor in your life. In almost every case the original incident is forgotten, and the person has no idea why they have an irrational fear of normal situations.

Social anxiety hypnosis

 

Physical symptoms of social phobia anxiety

The symptoms associated with Social Phobia are actually fear reactions:
feeling sick,
feeling weak,
shaking,
heart racing,
dry mouth,
stammering and stuttering,
sweaty palms,
loose bowels,
urge to run away.

Fear is different from anxiety. Anxiety is a worry about the future, fear is concerned with right now. However, the constant worry about being embarrassed in public can cause long term anxiety, and can lead to panic attacks.

SOCIAL PHOBIA SITUATIONS

Social phobia or social anxiety does not always to apply to every part of life. Many people only experience social phobia in particular situations. For example:

Public Speaking

Public Speaking4is a form of social phobia that happens when the person feels they are being thrust into the limelight, becoming the focus of attention in a group, and that everyone in that group will be measuring their words, and judging their ideas. It applies to managers who have give a presentation at work, a speech at a wedding, speaking at a staff function, or asking a question in a public meeting. Some people cannot even ask for directions in the street or raise their hand at an auction.

Stage Fright

Stage fright, or Performance Anxiety, is similar, where the person fears that they will be thrust into some sort of public performance and they will be judged negatively. Many actors go through agonies before every performance. It also is felt by salesmen, shop assistants, teachers and others who have to go out and deal with the public. It can stop people from enjoying dancing, demonstrating how to do something, collecting for charity, or even just wearing glasses. The person is sure that everyone will be looking at them, and just waiting for them to make some sort of mistake.

Self Assertion

Some people are unable to confront another person, or argue their case, or stick up for themselves. They know they should, they know they are entitled to, but they just cannot bring themselves to do it. In the work situation this applies to asking for a raise, confronting customers, and refusing additional work. In social situations, some people cannot enter a bar or other places on their own where they might might meet other people, even though they actually want to meet new people.

Personal Competence

Some people are unable to do things they can normally do if another person is around. In a work situation they may be unable to type on a keyboard if someone is watching, or be unable to write down a telephone number, or to make a phone call. It doesn't matter if the other person is watching them or not, sometimes just another person being there is enough.

Shy Bladder

Some people are totally unable to use public toilets in case someone else comes in before they are finished, and cannot relieve themselves at all if there are other people anywhere near. They sometimes have to drive for miles to get home to use private facilities. In forced group situations such as barracks and ships men have been know to hold everything in all day and then get up in the middle of the night to avoid the gaze of others. This is just a special case of Social Phobia.

Secondary Problems

Substance abuse

Social phobia can be crippling to someone who has to perform in public. People such as actors frequently resort to a quick drink to calm their nerves, and that lead to another set of problems. A lot of illegal and prescription drug abuse is the result of social phobics trying to self medicate. Smoking and nervous eating are also often associated with social phobia.

Self confidence

Social phobias can also lead to a lowering of self confidence generally, and can have knock on effects in other aspects of life. People are unable to go to a party, or strike up a conversation with a stranger, or sometimes even to make eye contact with others.

Depression

Social phobia can make life so stressful, so lacking in pleasures that the constant anxiety and fear triggers or maintains depression.

 

Treatment

Social phobia can be treated, and in most cases, eliminated entirely.

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